Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
Hellblog

After writing a happy series of "[insert quirky title] of the day" anecdotes, my blog decided that little bit of nowhere was not worth uploading and promplty eradicated it.

I am not impressed. So here's the syphoned-down version of that list:

1) after having to see Clay Aiken and his well-coiffed hair for the video Invisible more times per hour than I'd care to see, I have a newfound loathing of him. Then again, his song's lyrics are unexpectedly disturbing: "If I was invisible/I would just watch you in your room." *coughSTALKERcough*

2) the stop-and-think-and-suddenly- feel-rather-morbid lyrics of Aiken's song are reminiscent of The Police's song Every Breath You Take. Consider: "Every breath you take/Every move you make/Every step you take/I'll be watching you." Does that sound like a healthy relationship? Great melody, but admittedly the lyrics have all the makings of a fledgling stalker.

3) we are now carrying purses in our store that look like they were stolen off the "female alien" (read: remarkably humanoid female) from one of those old Sci-Fi B movies, and restitched into a purse. You remember those movies: where all those aforementioned female aliens dressed in strange, alien garments of silver spandex bikinis. Ergo, I have dubbed these purses the Barbarella Bikini purses.

4) Fanboy Radio (aka, the Fanboys! guest-starring on Ina-chan's J-Mix Radio) was immense fun and must be repeated whenever the opportunity allows. Thanks and kudos must go out to Ina-chan for being so willing to let us commandeer her show and fill it with nothing but ridiculous conversations and rants, gratuitous silliness, insane readings and lots of very bad puns.

5) as seen on a bin of chocolate-covered peanuts: Warning! May Contain Peanuts!

Unexpected Lesson of the Day: write little bits of nowhere on laptop first, then copy the files and paste them into blog so they won't get eaten and I am forced to retype a not-as-enjoyable version.


posted by Phillip at 2:43 PM

 
Hard-Core Helter Skelter

It's been almost two weeks since my last little bit of nowhere, and I'm still catching my breath from having been on a near-constant run from one thing to the next. From city to city, from place to place, from work to elsewhere, this Good Friday marks the first day in a while that I've actually been able to catch my breath, attempt to recall & reflect what's transpired in the meantime, and be amazed that the pron-spammers have been slacking off in pummelling my Email account with the usual pornobabble ads.

But that's not an offer or request for them to resume their former pace.

There's a lot I could go into detail on, but I'm still tired enough to prefer to shorten them all to anecdotes, and let other peoples' blogs & livejournals give the synopses in my stead. So in two weeks, here's not a lot of accumulated useless observations and rantings. Enjoy!

Curse of the Day: curse you, Clay Aiken! Curse you and your well-coiffed hair! Why must I be constantly seeing your Invisible music video with you prancing around atop a car in the middle of traffic, with your adoring throngs worshipping your well-coiffed hair? Why must the store across from ours play your video so much? For that matter, why must you try and notably fail at what U2 and the Beatles did so well in years past?

Morbid Observation (and the curse's corollary) of the Day: while I'm sure Aiken's voice makes the lyrics for Invisible sound very romantic...has anyone noticed how disturbing they are? "If I was invisible/I would just watch you in your room?" Admittedly, if someone told me that, I don't think I'd scream excitedly and have a near-fainting spell. No, the first word that comes to mind is *coughSTALKERcough*.

The same thing holds true for The Police's Every Breath You Take. Yes, it's a fun melody, but does anyone else get a case of the willies when they look at the lyrics? "Every breath you take/Every move you make/Every step you take/I'll be watching you." Yeah, I'll be standing over there with the mace and the restraining order, if you don't mind.

Silly Purse Fashion of the Day: our store is now the proud owner of purses and matching wallets that (I kid you not) are Barbarella Bikini purses. It's like they took all those old costumes from the 1970's Sci-Fi B movies, where apparently all the female (and might I add, remarkably humanoid) aliens wore sparkling silver spandex bikinis, and skinned them to make our new purses. I half expect to see some old B movie actress come by and cheerfully remark, "Hey, I used to wear shorts that looked like this!" I wonder how many teenage girls would buy our Barbarella Bikini purses once they heard that....

Radio Fanboy Lesson of the Day: we have too much fun doing what we do. Period. Between the Anime horoscopes, the "If Dr. Seuss Wrote Anime" titles, the "Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Anime" titles, the Choose-Your-Own-Disaster fic reading, and just our usual silliness, we damn near took the radio broadcast over entirely, much to my sincere enjoyment. Today the airwaves, tomorrow the world!

Gracious Thanks of the Day: to Ina-chan, for letting us take over her J-Mix Radio broadcast this past Monday and fill it with rampant silliness, gratuitous insanity and very bad puns. I apologize for all the listeners of yours we scared away!

Redundancy of the Day! as seen on a bin of chocolate-covered peanuts: warning, may contain peanuts. Of course, if this isn't a case of redundancy, it does make me worry about what other chocolate-covered peanuts are made from. Are they like grocery store hotdogs, where some weiners might actually contain meat? Have all the chocolate-covered peanuts I've been eating up until now been Soilent Nuts?


posted by Phillip at 2:31 PM